Birthday...fatherhood...and a Poem!

Today is my birthday.

Do I hear screams of joy, hysterics?

Lately I do not celebrate my birthday as I use to do. I just acknowledge the event and spend it quietly. Growing up as a kid, my mother used to execute these big lavish birthday parties for my older sister and I, inviting all the family members; uncles, aunts, cousins -- and I have lot of them. It was also an opportunity for my mom to show off her great talent at making desserts, especially the birthday cake. She would spend hours making it. She was proud of her work and it didn’t hurt that she loved the sugar. When I was older, I had two birthday parties, one with my family at home and one with friends; going out to a restaurant or a coffee shop. During my Masters studies we used to have birthday traditions... for all graduate students, staff, and my two co-supervisors. We were a big group. We had four birthdays in January, two of them in just one week. I was one of those two. We were fed up with sugar that month. Remember Elaine's coworkers on Seinfeld celebrating every event at the office with a cake? We were like that!

Last year I spent my birthday with my wife, it was a special one as she was pregnant with our son. This year is also a very special one for me as I celebrate it with my son. But I have the feeling that it’s no longer about me, it's about him. Don’t get me wrong and think that being a father means giving up your life. We have to make sacrifices for our children but not necessarily give up our lives. I do not mind celebrating my birthday but feel as if I’ve already received my gift for every birthday I will ever have.

I never thought of myself as a father. For me everything changed the day my son was born and I could actually hold him with my hands. I will brief you on some of my thoughts and experiences.

1. I’ve become an expert in the different types of diapers
2. My son pees on me many times while changing his diapers (a tradition!)
3. I actually lost some weight from holding him and walking back and forth to get him to sleep; especially when he wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s good exercise.
4. I’m stunned by the new generation of strollers, their names (Bagaboo, frog, Cameleon...). I feel it’s like buying him a new car that has many different models! Myself, I still prefer the classic old ones.
5. I make a fool of myself any time anywhere so he’ll stop crying.
6. I do not mind if he becomes smarter than me…actually I hope he becomes smarter than me!
7. At the end of the day, I cannot wait to see him with his incredible smile. This is what keeps my days and my life going!

If you allow me,
I will tell you my story.
I was born in January
on the coldest day of the year.

Some claim it was raining that night,

Others did not really seem to care.
No irregularities were reported before birth.
I landed from the planet Uterus to earth
three hours after midnight.
Unlike other new comers
I faced the light with wide open eyes.

I was curious, I’m still curious!

Strangers dressed in blue and white surrounded me.
They referred to me as "a boy".
I did not appreciate their attitude,
They had their hands all over me.
I could not understand the language
I screamed and screamed.
They did not care and no one listened.

They cut me from my world with scissors.
I was too tired to fight them,
Too much noise
More strange faces kept coming.
I missed the darkness,
the sound of the beats,
and the fluid I used to swim in.

I closed my eyes and brought darkness back to my world.
I shut everything out.
I decided to sleep and the next day I would fight them all.
A few days later I forgot all about it.
They transformed me...
I became one of them.

© 2009 Khaled KE Mahmoud